All revealed…

Salam readers.. well, i’m hoing to tell you guys a story. A story of a broken-heart. Not mine apparently, it appears that someone has it worse than me. Someone I really care about. And it explained a lot. A true whole lot. I wish I had known it earlier. I wouldn’t have spent my time wondering why is this, or why is that. It’s sad really, but then, I am going through that phase right now. So, why does this keeps haunting me? Am I being too attached to, can’t I just let it all go? I’ve tried, God knows how hard I  try, but I failed. I do not know why, it’s probably because what i feel or felt was true. It was never a lie. I sincerely and truly feel the way I felt. Probably that’s the reason it’ so hard to let go. It even haunts me in my dream, and it sickens me. I wish that I could be heartless. I wish I couldn’t feel pain. I wish I could go on with my life, not wondering about ‘what might’ve been’. but no, my inquiring heart keeps urging me to go forth and seek for the answer. I’ve been trying to clear this puzzle in my head for years now, but still to no avail.. I think I need help. People keeps telling me how strong I am, how I am able to stand all the agony and sorrows.. but in truth, ladies and gents, I do feel pain as harshly as all humans must’ve felt. I am still human. I may look and act tough, but inside, I’m just a little girl, who still are very much afraid.

That’s not saying much either. For all that is worth, I think the best thing to do is to indulge myself in ‘devil may care’ manner I hope. Hoping that someday the grief will be washed away by the tide of my ignorance. it will take time, probably, but it’s the best I could come up with.. I just hope and pray to Allah, that I will have peace and serenity in my life, to face all the coming years of my life. Yes readers, it is very very hard. I felt compelled to do some stupid things before. But just remember this, if you are about to do something that will probably make you regret for the rest of your miserable life, just think about the effects it will have NOT on you, but to your FAMILY, your PARENTS. It never was about you, it’s about them. Think about  how they raised you to be a good person, and don’t waste it doing something that will be mark down as a tragedy in your life. And never forget Allah SWT.

Till next time. May Allah bless you guys.

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