Busan…
Actually xde pe aku nk ckp pon.. skadar melepaskan rase busan aku je.. and aku ade bende gk yb mcm x puas hati… tp aku x pnh cite spesifik kat sini, aku cume cite am die je. aku x suke nk cite sgt kat org bnde2 yg aku x puas hati. Byk aku simpan sndri je. Kalu aku cite pon, x gune gk. Dlu aku pnh gk simpan diari, kononnye nk tulis bnde2 yg aku x suke le… tp dlm diari pon aku menipu juge. So, no use pon. last2 aku buang je. srupe x ade. Sume dlm kpala otak aku. Tu yg mbuatkan aku smkin tension kot. Aku cm fedup gk ngan benda2 ni sume. Tapi aku xtau lg cmne nk setelkan. Seriusly aku busan. Aku igt betul la, aku fokus kat karier je. Yg lain g mampos sume. kalu aku dok mlayan, lagi aku sakit ati. Sudahnye yg jadi bodonye, aku. Aku, aku, aku. Lantakle….. p mampos le nk jadi ape pon…
Kdg2 aku pon x sangka betapa complicatednye life ni.. tp nk wat cmne kan? That’s how things work. Haaa…. ade satu lagi bnde aku bengang bab kerje ni… ade la satu kali makhluk kat tempat lame aku dlu, boleh jaja cerite kate aku ni x guna, x buat keje mase aku dok kat tempat lame aku tu. katenye aku ade situ srupa xde je, sume keje die kene buat. Kalu bnde tu btul, aku akan terime dgn hati terbuka. Tapi masalahnye tuan puan, mase die dok pejabat tu, aku x pnh keje skali ngn die. mase aku dok situ die x masuk lagi unit tu. cm Celaka x? ak hangin je.. jangan smpai kang aku mengambil tindakan drastik. bodo punye org..
Uncategorized | Comment (1)All revealed…
Salam readers.. well, i’m hoing to tell you guys a story. A story of a broken-heart. Not mine apparently, it appears that someone has it worse than me. Someone I really care about. And it explained a lot. A true whole lot. I wish I had known it earlier. I wouldn’t have spent my time wondering why is this, or why is that. It’s sad really, but then, I am going through that phase right now. So, why does this keeps haunting me? Am I being too attached to, can’t I just let it all go? I’ve tried, God knows how hard I try, but I failed. I do not know why, it’s probably because what i feel or felt was true. It was never a lie. I sincerely and truly feel the way I felt. Probably that’s the reason it’ so hard to let go. It even haunts me in my dream, and it sickens me. I wish that I could be heartless. I wish I couldn’t feel pain. I wish I could go on with my life, not wondering about ‘what might’ve been’. but no, my inquiring heart keeps urging me to go forth and seek for the answer. I’ve been trying to clear this puzzle in my head for years now, but still to no avail.. I think I need help. People keeps telling me how strong I am, how I am able to stand all the agony and sorrows.. but in truth, ladies and gents, I do feel pain as harshly as all humans must’ve felt. I am still human. I may look and act tough, but inside, I’m just a little girl, who still are very much afraid.
That’s not saying much either. For all that is worth, I think the best thing to do is to indulge myself in ‘devil may care’ manner I hope. Hoping that someday the grief will be washed away by the tide of my ignorance. it will take time, probably, but it’s the best I could come up with.. I just hope and pray to Allah, that I will have peace and serenity in my life, to face all the coming years of my life. Yes readers, it is very very hard. I felt compelled to do some stupid things before. But just remember this, if you are about to do something that will probably make you regret for the rest of your miserable life, just think about the effects it will have NOT on you, but to your FAMILY, your PARENTS. It never was about you, it’s about them. Think about how they raised you to be a good person, and don’t waste it doing something that will be mark down as a tragedy in your life. And never forget Allah SWT.
Till next time. May Allah bless you guys.
Uncategorized | Comment (0)Well… um…. whatever….
I am so dead bored… nothing to do these few days.. (you guys must think that i am an ungrateful b**** who doesn’t deserve free time, huh) well, actually I do feel grateful for all the spare times that i have. It’s just that sometimes one might tend to feel a bit bored… haha… try saying that when you have a lot in your hands… well, I might as well take a quick nap, just to pass the time. You see how desperate I am? sleep to past the time? A lot of people must be envying me so bad right now…
Hm, nothing new to report, but just writing coz i had request from dear friends who ask me if there’s a new blog post… Awww…. you guys are so sweet… I never thought anyone would like to look at my page, let alone read my blog… I really do appreciate you guys…
What does this pic trying to imply? I dunno, just having fun I guess..
To be honest with you guys, I never thought about inserting pics in my blog, but hey, that could be a good idea, no? well, here’s another one. Please bear in mind that some of the pictures probably have nothing to do with the posts… just sticking them in here for fun…
This was the time I had an eye surgery... It
Well, that’s all for today.. stay tune for more tomorrow… If I’m up to it I will insert pic of an outing to the National Zoo… Those cute elephants….
Uncategorized | Comment (0)alone again.. haha…
Well boys and girls, i guess perhaps i was destined to be alone for the rest of my life. Nothing really worked out. I guess that perhaps this is the best possible way for everyone. I think there is something wrong with me.. maybe i’m not meant to be around people.. or perhaps i just suck.
I always thougth that my life would be like a fairy tale. A handsome prince that swept me off my feet, life happily ever after and stuff. But I have to admit, that those are FAIRYTALES. Not in real life it would happen.
I really felt so deeply guilty bout what happened last week. Well, it is my fault I guess. But nontheless, … well, I don’t know.. I’m not sure bout anything these days. Sometimes, just sometimes, I wished that something will end me from all this. Like, when I was suspected of brain tumor, I secretly wished that it was true. Cause smetimes I can’t bear to live like this, while I still long for ‘em, but alas, new fresh meats he have. So, I ask you, what should I do? How can I endure all the pain? Does anyone have the remedy for my problem?
Does anyone have any cure to my pain? How can I REALLY forget someone? I had no idea it would be this TOUGH.. seriously, I need some medication for all this.. I really can’t stand it anymore.. Please.
Uncategorized | Comment (0)